Monday, March 05, 2007


Like I felt obligated to warn all men against murses or man purses, I am officially making a new PSA. It is geared towards all mother's with new baby girls. Now I know that not all little ones are born with flowing locks and that it can be hard to determine the sex of your baby while wearing a white onesie. But please, please, stop putting jewelry on your babies. Stay away from BJ (baby jewelry). Don't pierce their ears, don't put a bangle on them and for the love of our lord baby infant Jesus Christ, do NOT give them rings (even Spanish who is pro-BJ admitted this is just a choking hazard).

That's right. Step away from the baby jewelry counter. Put down the ice cube and safety pin (which is how Spanish said her baby ears were pierced).


This baby is having BJ nightmares.

Why am I so against BJ? Because: 1. It's just tacky. 2. It makes baby girls look like little hookers. 3. Your daughter will be a whore if she wears BJ...I mean c'mon, BJ leads to BJ's. 4. It's really effing ugly.

Also, please refrain from putting those elastic on your baby's head so it looks like she has a bow on. She just looks like a groom missed when he threw a garter and it landed on you babys dome.

All you need to do:

1. Dress the baby in pink, preferably a dress of some sort.

2. Give her a "Thank Heaven For Little Girls" bib.

3. Stick a baby doll in the carriage.

THE MORE YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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