Wednesday, October 31, 2007

She's so excited!

Has anyone ever watched Showgirls on VH1? The put these Jessica Rabbit cartoon-like bathing suits on Jesse Spano's boobs. It's the funniest thing I've seen all day.

Great Moments in IM Conversations: Couggery

DM: yes seems like the boys love the older ladies
Jones: its all about the young ones
DM: i dunno ive been hearing about a lot of older ladies as of late
DM: maybe u should start dating younger men.
Jones: thats what i meant
Jones: its all abou t the younger men
DM: ohhh yes
Jones: and i cant get a "date" with a guy our age let alone a younger one
Jones: i can only bed them, teach them my skills and share them with the world
DM: maybe this is an untapped resource
4:20 PM
Jones: um i've tapped it
Jones: a lot
DM: skank
Jones: i love to coug
DM: haha wurd
im a cou
by 4 months
Jones: doesnt count when its that little
Jones: i say 2 years or more
DM: shh
DM: yea
DM: I’ve couged
Jones: it's fun
DM: couggged
DM: how would u spell that
Jones: couged
Jones: maybe two g's?
DM: cougged
DM: yea
Jones: that looks right
Jones: we totally just made it a verb
DM: nice
Jones: speaking of cougging
Jones: i need a piece
Jones: i think ill call the intern
DM: yes that would worlk
Jones: maybe he'll booze me up
Jones: i feel like he's getting over me though
he may have met the most severe of the cougars
Jones:..accouting/finance cougar
DM: no
DM: nonono
DM:HR cougars
DM: grrrrrrrrrrr
DM:or is it meow
Jones: well they are legendary
4:25 PM
DM: oh yea
Jones: I think it's a roar
DM: like a lion
Jones: lioness
DM: ahh touche

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I'm Twenty Six.

It's been officially twenty-four hours since my birthday. I am now twenty-six. For the first time I can ever remember, I actually feel like I've gotten older. This might sound weird. Let me explain. I don't feel old (except during my hangovers) and I don't look old (except during my hangovers) but I feel older. Older, wiser and maybe a little more mature. Still a kid at heart but old enough to know better. Head still in the clouds but feet planted firmly on the floor. I can say it now. I am twenty-mothereffing-six.

Some of you who read this will know why this past birthday became, er, somewhat difficult for me. I won't dwell on the details because I already attempted processing my feelings on Monday and that ended up giving me ridiculously puffy eyes for a day and a phone call to Domino's pizza on 40th street. In the end, I gave myself a day to work through, well, I guess what I'll call an "episode."

At the end of it all, I've realized I've learned so much over the past year. I've found myself wondering lately, in a world of weddings, babies and people buying property, that it can feel like I've jut been standing still for the past three years. But I'm on my own unpaved road here, and more so than I thought, 25 brought me many a life lesson. Here are some I thought I'd share with my usual vague details.

1. Like Dr. Phil says, "It's ok." For the first time in like, years, I felt myself falling for someone. This time I didn't walk away. In the end, it wasn't right (see #2) but I am proud of myself for letting go and actually feeling something again.

2. People can disappoint you no matter how much you believe in them. You can't will someone to change. In the case of this person I really hope they do someday. I won't be there waiting because I think they have cooties now, but I saw a glimpse of potential of a great person that I could have really given my all for. But you know, cooties is a deal breaker.

3. One cannot fathom the miracle of life until someone you know has a baby. Like literally the baby was inside and the next day was chilling in the hospital. It still amazes me.

4. I've lowered my expectations of people. People will always let you down. If you lower your expectations, it takes some of the sting of disappointment away.

5. Growing up is scary. I hate fear. That is the root of all of my anxiety. My fear of fear.

6. I can't control everything in my life. Hence my necessity for TOTAL control of the things I can actually manage.

7. Marriage isn't a race with winners or losers. (Do you hear that Heidi and Spencer?) And even assholes get married all the time. Think about it: If marriage was a game Pam Anderson, Liz Taylor and J.Lo would be winning.

8. The past is like a ghost that will keep haunting you until you make your peace with it.

9. Things change, people evolve (ok totally stolen from Dawson's Creek but Joey Potter was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo right).

10. Just because you think someone is the right person for you, it doesn't mean they are.

11. I am who I am and there are a lot of people who like me this way. Those who don't can suck it.

12. Kelly Clarkson follows me around and writes songs inspired by my life (ok, just a theory, but I'm putting it out there).

13. You can't change the past. It's ok to let some of your dreams die. Life won't turn out the way you always imagined it. All you can do is move on and find your own way. Even if that motion is at the pace of a turtle. Then again, the tortoise came out on top in the end.

Sorry this was so boring and self-serving but it's been that kind of week.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Great Moments in IM Conversations: Jones DMC

Me: my point is, you have what so many of us want, so really, you should be confidant in yourself
Me: wow, that was like rev run deep
DM: u should send out daily texts