I just found this old post. It's messed up in more way than one. I'm effing clairvoyant.
Showing posts with label Heath. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Heath. Show all posts
Monday, February 25, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Heath Coverage: American Media at its worst
The speculation on these bullshit news shows is redic. They are all just doing this for ratings and the public eats it up.
Personally I'm sticking to the New York Times if I want to learn any other details (which honestly, I really don't, it bums me out).
Sometimes I wish I could shake middle America and explain that there are bigger things out there than celebs. Seriously, most people don't even know who the '08 candidates are or that yes, we are still at war. But if I did, I'd be a hypocrite. I drink the Kool Aid as much as the next guy.
Sure, the untimely death of a mega-star is news, but sadly, it's being exploited for ad dollars.
At least I'm not in England. They are way worse.
Personally I'm sticking to the New York Times if I want to learn any other details (which honestly, I really don't, it bums me out).
Sometimes I wish I could shake middle America and explain that there are bigger things out there than celebs. Seriously, most people don't even know who the '08 candidates are or that yes, we are still at war. But if I did, I'd be a hypocrite. I drink the Kool Aid as much as the next guy.
Sure, the untimely death of a mega-star is news, but sadly, it's being exploited for ad dollars.
At least I'm not in England. They are way worse.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Signs of the Apocolypse
1. Dustin Diamond becoming a douche.
2. All four Baldwin Brothers on TV shows at the same time
3. Death of Heath Ledger.
Start praying people.
2. All four Baldwin Brothers on TV shows at the same time
3. Death of Heath Ledger.
Start praying people.
In Memoriam
Check out this post dedicated to Heath, less than one year ago...
An Open Letter...
Or this "If I Could" where I describe my wedding to him (and Robbie Williams at the same time)
I'll be missing you...
An Open Letter...
Or this "If I Could" where I describe my wedding to him (and Robbie Williams at the same time)
I'll be missing you...
1.22.08
The day my biggest celeb crush of all time died. My heart is broken. I will miss you Heath Ledger.
God is mean.
Here are a list of people that God should have taken instead:
1. Jennifer Love Hewitt
2. Jeff Goldblum
3. Carrot Top
4. Britney (she's going anyway)
5. Amy Winehouse (Ditto)
6. Anyone other than Heath Ledger.
7. Julia Effing Stiles
I have legit chest pains and I feel like crying.
RIP Heath. You will always be someone I loved once.
Update: I have not been able to do any work since I found out. I am officially devastated.
Update 2: I'm totally depressed that my niece and soon-to-be nephew will grow up in a world without Heath...
Update 3: I just realized Heath will be in the "In Memoriam" montage during the Oscars. I just want to cry.
Update 4: I'm trying to figure out how to mourn someone I've never even met. I thought about going down to Broome Street but I realize how redic that is.
God is mean.
Here are a list of people that God should have taken instead:
1. Jennifer Love Hewitt
2. Jeff Goldblum
3. Carrot Top
4. Britney (she's going anyway)
5. Amy Winehouse (Ditto)
6. Anyone other than Heath Ledger.
7. Julia Effing Stiles
I have legit chest pains and I feel like crying.
RIP Heath. You will always be someone I loved once.
Update: I have not been able to do any work since I found out. I am officially devastated.
Update 2: I'm totally depressed that my niece and soon-to-be nephew will grow up in a world without Heath...
Update 3: I just realized Heath will be in the "In Memoriam" montage during the Oscars. I just want to cry.
Update 4: I'm trying to figure out how to mourn someone I've never even met. I thought about going down to Broome Street but I realize how redic that is.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
If I Could: A Tacky Wedding
Occasionally I wonder what would happen if I had unlimited funds and a whole lot of time. So here is a new type of post I'm calling "If I Could." Here are my musings on what kind of tacky wedding I would have, "If I could."
Date: 4th of July. Why? Free fireworks for all. But instead of having those little smiey faced ones I would have the folks at Macy's design special pyrotechnics that would launch firworks that would explode in the shapy of my face and beau, encircled by heart with an arrow going through it. God bless America and God bless us.
Ceremony Location: Shea Stadium. Why? Because in my little world where I have more money than Bill Gates, everyone will want to attend my nuptuals. I need stadium seating. But considering that this affair will come after 2009, I would have to buy Shea Stadium before it's torn town and transplant it to a patch of land. So, I will have to buy all the real estate on the Lower East Side/East Village, evict all the hiptards, level all the annoying builldings/hangouts and place Shea down there. Any hispter who does not vacate will just be seen as collatoral damage.
Reception: Central Park Why? Because I would need pretty much the entrie park for all the guests. It's a simple matter of capacity. All the important people will be allowed in the great lawn with me, while all the on-lookers will have to stay down in Sheep's Meadow. The people I really don't like will be sent to sit on the ball fields, and have to make due with a hotdog cart and ice cream man.
Bridal Party: The obvious suspects, my sisters, BFF, Spanish, Future Mrs. Krabby Patty, Jennifer Aniston, Kelly Clarkson, Wonder Woman.
The best man will be Michelle Williams. Because let's face it, Heath wouldn't want anyone else helping him out more than his ex-wife/baby momma.
The other best man (did I mention this was Big Love?) will be Kylie Minogue, who will be trying to hold Robbie Williams up, because we will have to kick that guy off the wagon to marry me.
Flower children: My neice will be head flower child which means she is the boss of all other flower children and they need to kiss her feet and give her money and presents. Other flower children: Suri Cruise (but Tom has to sit in the baseball team area for the reception, Katie can stay with me but only if I can call her katie and send her to de-programmer who will burn her with ciggie butts until she rejects Scientology), Zahara Jolie-Pitt (screw Shiloh), Maddox Jolie-Pitt (screw Pax), and The Olsen Twins.
I will not walk down the aisle. The entire New York Mets team will kneel on hand and knee (in their custom NYM tuxes) and I will walk on their backs.
Colors: "My culuhs are blush and bashful." And yes, Dolly Parton will be flown in to do my hair and Julia Roberts will be forced to have a diabetic seizure.
Theme: The theme is everyone look uglier than the bride. Thanks.
Black Tie: Not optional. It's demanded. But only skinny black ties are allowed. And even the women have to wear them.
Entertainment: Think of Live Aid + Live 8, ONLY BIGGER. Headliners will include a reunited 'NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls, S Club 7. Also Amy Winehouse, The Beastie Boys, Shakira (but she has to dance in a brown paper bag since no one is allowed to look better than me), U2, Madonna, Oprah, Larry King, Gallagher. Ellen Degeneres will be dancing in a cage above the stage, non-stop.
Gown Design: I will change every 30 minutes into a new gown. The designers will have to pay me to wear their dress at the ceremony. I have a feeling Bobby Trendy won't win. It will be easy to dress me because I will be thinner than Victoria Beckham. And she will be forced to eat the entire reception.
Food: I will leave that up to the house elves from Hogwarts.
Party Favors: Everyone will receive an 8x10 of me, autographed, of course.
Honeymoon: 1 week at each Hedonism resort in the world.
A girl can dream, can't she?
Date: 4th of July. Why? Free fireworks for all. But instead of having those little smiey faced ones I would have the folks at Macy's design special pyrotechnics that would launch firworks that would explode in the shapy of my face and beau, encircled by heart with an arrow going through it. God bless America and God bless us.
Ceremony Location: Shea Stadium. Why? Because in my little world where I have more money than Bill Gates, everyone will want to attend my nuptuals. I need stadium seating. But considering that this affair will come after 2009, I would have to buy Shea Stadium before it's torn town and transplant it to a patch of land. So, I will have to buy all the real estate on the Lower East Side/East Village, evict all the hiptards, level all the annoying builldings/hangouts and place Shea down there. Any hispter who does not vacate will just be seen as collatoral damage.
Reception: Central Park Why? Because I would need pretty much the entrie park for all the guests. It's a simple matter of capacity. All the important people will be allowed in the great lawn with me, while all the on-lookers will have to stay down in Sheep's Meadow. The people I really don't like will be sent to sit on the ball fields, and have to make due with a hotdog cart and ice cream man.
Bridal Party: The obvious suspects, my sisters, BFF, Spanish, Future Mrs. Krabby Patty, Jennifer Aniston, Kelly Clarkson, Wonder Woman.
The best man will be Michelle Williams. Because let's face it, Heath wouldn't want anyone else helping him out more than his ex-wife/baby momma.
The other best man (did I mention this was Big Love?) will be Kylie Minogue, who will be trying to hold Robbie Williams up, because we will have to kick that guy off the wagon to marry me.
Flower children: My neice will be head flower child which means she is the boss of all other flower children and they need to kiss her feet and give her money and presents. Other flower children: Suri Cruise (but Tom has to sit in the baseball team area for the reception, Katie can stay with me but only if I can call her katie and send her to de-programmer who will burn her with ciggie butts until she rejects Scientology), Zahara Jolie-Pitt (screw Shiloh), Maddox Jolie-Pitt (screw Pax), and The Olsen Twins.
I will not walk down the aisle. The entire New York Mets team will kneel on hand and knee (in their custom NYM tuxes) and I will walk on their backs.
Colors: "My culuhs are blush and bashful." And yes, Dolly Parton will be flown in to do my hair and Julia Roberts will be forced to have a diabetic seizure.
Theme: The theme is everyone look uglier than the bride. Thanks.
Black Tie: Not optional. It's demanded. But only skinny black ties are allowed. And even the women have to wear them.
Entertainment: Think of Live Aid + Live 8, ONLY BIGGER. Headliners will include a reunited 'NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls, S Club 7. Also Amy Winehouse, The Beastie Boys, Shakira (but she has to dance in a brown paper bag since no one is allowed to look better than me), U2, Madonna, Oprah, Larry King, Gallagher. Ellen Degeneres will be dancing in a cage above the stage, non-stop.
Gown Design: I will change every 30 minutes into a new gown. The designers will have to pay me to wear their dress at the ceremony. I have a feeling Bobby Trendy won't win. It will be easy to dress me because I will be thinner than Victoria Beckham. And she will be forced to eat the entire reception.
Food: I will leave that up to the house elves from Hogwarts.
Party Favors: Everyone will receive an 8x10 of me, autographed, of course.
Honeymoon: 1 week at each Hedonism resort in the world.
A girl can dream, can't she?
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
An Open Letter To The Man Of My Dreams aka Heath Ledger
Heathy baby,
I love you. You know I do. I think you are the most attractive man in the universe. But if you make one more depressing love story I am going to have to break up with you and hold out hope for someone else.
As I write this, I watch the end of the movie Candy. It was good, don't get me wrong, but it's tragic. And I know you like to flex those acting muscles, but any chance I can get A Knight's Tale 2 or 11 Things I Hate About You? That was a nice movie. Nice and neat in the end. I like those. I like it when Heath gets the girl in the end and you both stay alive and live happily ever after. You have your indie-cred. You got the nomination. Now give us ladies what we want instead of constantly flipping us off (or wait, is that only the papparazzi?).
And almost showing your peen in the movie? Tease.
While your next project where you play The Joker really excites me, I need a feel good film. Even Michelle made The Baxter. It was indie-light, but light all the same. So whaddya say Heath honey? Please, for me? Just a light romantic comedy? It'll put Matilda through college!
Love,
Your Dearest Jones
P.S. Next indie film you do, whip out the peen, the world is waiting.
P.P.S. Take a shower, you look crusty.
Monday, October 31, 2005
It's official....
Heath is now a baby daddy. Michelle Williams and he are now parents of a baby girl named......Matilda. I wonder if she has magic powers. Anyway, I think I can handle a man with a baby. Britney did it. And look at her...
oh well, guess he's gone forever.
oh well, guess he's gone forever.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Anyone?
I'm still dying to see The Brother's Grimm but no one will go with me! I mean, how can I say no to Heath Ledger and Matt Damon. Especially when Heath is playing the bookish one in this movie. Anyway, I may have to tough this one out and go alone.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)