Wednesday, January 28, 2009

If you seek gingy...

London and I were bumming on the couch and I had mentioned that my friend, Gingervision, was off at the Sundance Film Festival doing some work. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Gingervision is in Sundance doing some work.

London: Oh, what kind?

Me: Photo type stuff, like trandsponding or something, I dunno what photo people do.

London: Oh, that's awesome.

Me: Yea, I'm jeal. She went to some Minnie Driver movie and saw Andrew Bernard from the Office.

London: What did she say?

Me: Oh the usual tipsy banter that occurs when you see celebs under the influence.

London: Why is she a banana?

Me: Um, huh? (thinking that that banana is like a silly word for a person who tipsily accosts celbs)

London: Why is she a banana?

Me: Huh? (Looking totally puzzled)

London: Her photo, why is she a banana?

Me: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH? Her facebook photo. Oh, she was one for Halloween.

London: A banana? That's so funny! She's so funny!

Me: Yea she is.

End scene.

End incredibly lame post.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Thank You, Bonnie Hunt

Ok so in my current state of employment limbo, I watch a lot of TV. Especially daytime TV. Here's my schedule.

10 am - 11 am - Good old Rach teaches me how to cook while simultanesouly annoying me senseless.
11 am - 12 am - I get my menopause fix while watching The View.
12 am - 1 pm - I usually eat lunch at this time or watch the news.
1 pm - 2 pm - All My Children or a DVR'd show.
2 pm - 3 pm - Bonnie Hunt amuses me with her stories about her mom and family. My cousin even won a caption contest on her show once.
3 pm - 4 pm - Ellen (or as I call her Elle Belle, because I have a nonsexual crush on her).
4pm - 5 pm - Oprah drops knowledge on my ass.

Do this 5 days a week, repeat with the occasional VH1 show thrown in for good measure.

I like to think I learn something new everyday, but usually I play on the internet, try to get some work done (like the last two weeks) or something while watching.

Today's Bonnie Hunt was super-meta. As I was watching the program and playing on he internet, Bonnie brought out guest Nick Malis to discuss Cute Things Falling Asleep, one of my favorite memes.

Nick went on to announce his new sister site, Cute Things Laughing. So while playing on the internet while watching TV, I learned about a new thing to play with on the internet that shows me video. I love this world.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

A girl can dream...

You know that song by the Pussycat Dolls. Not the awful one about buttons. Well, they are all awful, but that other one aboout the growing of the up?

I just found out the lyrics are as follows:

"When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies"

Ok. Fine and good. Too bad I've been singing it like this. Out loud. In Public.

""When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have boobies"

Cue face turning beet red.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


I'm really tired of seeing on tv. Go away.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Thnks 4 the Memries.


You know you've had an intersting night out when you get a text like this:

Hey, its avi the israely guy that talk to you last night. How you doing today?

And no the typos aren't mine.

Friday, January 16, 2009

No Thank You

I thought this was fake, but alittle googling has proved this site to be, in fact, 100% real.

Mr. Belding continues to terrorize the world.

May God have mercy on all of us.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

So a plane crashed in my backyard today...

I live about 2 blocks away from that USAir flight that crashed into the Hudson about an hour and half ago.

So far they are reporting everyone is okay. Thank you Jebus.But it was really close to my partment and I am bugging myself out thinking "What if they hadn't landed in the water.."

This event reminded me of a book I read as a tween. "Flight #116 Is Down!" is like the most effed up tale to read as a child. You might as well read it and watch My Bloody Valentine.

Let me explain: The book is story of some chick named Heidi who lives on this sick estate with all of this land. Then a plane crash lands in her back yard and she has to deal with all the injured and dying people. You learn the passenger's stories in a Trafficky/Babelly/Crash-type way. You also get a taste of what the families are going through as they wait for the list. And I think Heidi has some love interest with like an EMT or something.

And, like, some of the good people DIE. Seriously, they make you like someone and then they DIE. And this is a book for KIDS. And it's not like kooky fiction like Harry Potter. This is like real shit that could happen (just like today).

So to author Caroline Cooney, you scarred me for life and today I have Nam-like flashbacks to your book.


Thursday, January 08, 2009

An Open Letter to Angelina Jolie

Dear Ms. Jolie as you like to be called because you live in sin,

Why is it you always have effing bitch face? You are effing Brad Pitt, have 9000 of his babies and have like the best life ever.

STOP LOOKING SO LES MIS PLEASE. It's rubbing off on Brad and we don't need another Billy Bob on our hands. Maybe people would stop calling you a homewrecker if you started to smile evry so often.

And why do you insist on dressing Shiloh like a boy? Take a note from Katie Holmes (never though I'd say that) and dress her like a girl please. She looks dirty like Kate Hudson's child.

Oh, and eat a morsel of something, I don't care what...just something. You look like a fucking praying mantis you maneater you.