Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Let's finish this bitch!

I don't think anyone is celebrating the end of 2008 more than I am. This year, I lost my job, dog (RIP Lord G), love life and most of my optimism. I'm ready for a change.

So tonight, Carly (you remember her) is forcing me to go to Brooklyn (which is huge because I NEVER go to the BK because I mostly hate it there)to some burlesque party (aka the night of titty tassles). I won't be performing but I will be getting obscenely drunk to celebrate the demise of the worst year ever.

I'm sure I'll do something rediculously stupid or awkward if it's a good night.

I wish you all a safe and drunk New Year. Have one for Jonesy!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Best thing about being unemployed

Best thing about being unemployed is being able to take off as long as I want for the holidays. Have fun at work tomorrow suckers.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Which is worse?

I was recently contacted vis facebook by a guy I hooked up with 7 years ago. In Switzerland. While studying abroad. Who I only knew for 4 days. He's kids of being stalkery and sending me messages, but he only has the nicest of things to say. But really, offering me a plane ticket to visit you in Canada right after getting back in touch is a bit frightening.

On the otehr hand, when there is a guy I actually have interest in, I get ignored. Like blatantly. Oh sure, there is the awkward moment or signal here or there, but nothing ever happens and I'm always left wanting more.

So which is worse? Being stalked because somebody thinks you are amazing when you probably don't feel the same way? Or having feelings for someone who either has no idea you exist or could care less how you feel?

I'm not sure.

Little Girl Dancing to Beyonce's Single Ladies

This child dances better than I do. Get on with your bad self!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Best. Cartoon. Ever.

When I was little I used to get so excited when this came on Disney. I love the Cookie Carnival.

First, itr's food that sings and dances.

Two, the rum cakes are drunk.

Three, the Jello lady shakes her boobs.


This reminds me of being a kid....

I used to love this cartoon. They just don't make them like they used to. And hwo cute are these singing hats! Enjoy!

Intolerable Cruelty

Why do they air commericals fore beverage mecca Sonic and $5 buffet CiCi's in Manhattan.

1. Neither of these exist here. Nor does Friendly's. Or Chuck E. Cheese. Manhatty is barren of the deliciousities.

2. 90% of the people in Manhattan down own cars so they can't drive the 70-90 miles to get to one of these establishments.

3. Besides myself, most people don't desire such things as a Kiwi Limeade drink with round ice cubes or a $5 pizza pasta salad bar. So really, nobody watching really cares.

Point moot. So please stop torturing me with these tittalating commercials showing cheese and burgers and milkshakes with candy bar bits. It's mean. My inner fat girl beseeches you to stop this. And my outer appearences thanks these places for not coming to Big Apple because she has recently shed 15 pounds (Yay Unemployment!) and would like to stay on the smaller side. K Thnks.

Monday, December 08, 2008

'Tis the season...

The Chirstmas season is here so that means I have my partypants on and I'm ready to rumble. With some sort of event every other day this week my liver may have to start phoning it in while I drink water.

This past Saturday was Merry Thanksgivingmas. As prrof of my age and level of responsibility, I sent myself home right around the time I started browning out (meaning I vaguely remember some of the stuff, not a full visit to the BOC). But I was kissing random boys on the cheek, which I'm sure, scared them senseless. Yet again, the boozing scares boys.

In other news, I HAVE A NEW PHONE. For the past year I've been plagues with problems because I had a crappy Motorola RAZR. I've now upgraded to the BlackBerry Storm, since iPhones are so 2007.

So Seasons Greetings kiddos. Have a pint for your dear Jonesy when you are out and fellas, if you;re lucky, that girl smooching you on the cheek just might be me!