Laborious Labor

Spanish is in labor right now. She is trying to birth the child that she and Homer created, that I have fondly called baby Beer for the past 8 months.

Wish her luck. She's been feeling this since early in the AM, the poor thing.

In honor of this great event, I am debating what this child will now be referred to on the blog. Hanish? Spomer? Or something else entirely? Don't judge. I need to distract myself while I await the news of this new addition!

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow...

Yesterday was DM's birthday. Yesterday, DM got engaged. Yesterday was one of the best days of her life and she deserves it. Yesterday, I got a tetanus shot. It still effing hurts.

Today, Spanish and I went shopping for her husband, Homer. Today, Homer had his first day as a cop in my hometown. Today, I realized that because I live in New York City and take cabs, I have become a God-awful driver and almost crashed into the Cloisters on the Henry Hudson North.

Tomorrow, BFF is having a C-Section. She's pissed she can't deliver naturally. I am excited and nervous for her. Tomorrow, she becomes a mom. Tomorrow, I hope to visit her and her baby girl and then get drunk while decorating my Christmas tree.

I really need to get a more exciting life.

RIP: Spanish's Gallbladder

She's alive. Uncomfortable but alive. On Saturday I brought Homer lunch because he had been taking such good care of her. Then he left to get some air and run some errands, and I stayed with a percocet-glazed Spanish until her mom and grandma came to do what else...speak in Spanish to her.

I also babysat the niecey this weekend and ate dinner with my 70 year old neighbors. When I realized that I was living the life of an aged person I put the call in to DM & Co. to be rescued. Thanks guys, I was a minute away from dentures, an early bird special, and listening to Wilford Brimley's 'betus speeches.