"Benjamin, I am *not* trying to seduce you. "

I've realized I have a problem. With younger men. Not that I'm old. Not at all. Quite the contrary. (I have a half-birthday approaching and a lot of friends getting married, I need to reminf myself sometimes that I don't need to rush and that in New York City, I'm still a spring chick).

As a gal in my early almost mid-twenties I have to ask myself? Why have I recently become obsessed with younger men. I used to hate younger guys. They grossed me out. They need coddling and tips in basic hygiene (I swear look in the ears of any guy younger than 20 and you will find enough wax to put Yankee candle out of business).

Women my age who even thought a guy under the age of 23 was cute would bother me. I thought they were pervy.

Prime example: I went to see the midnight premiere of Harry Potter 4 with Tiny Dancer, and her boyfriend, Spike (as he will be named so for his Spiky hair) and his twin brother. I don't want to bust out a spoiler, but there is one moment when HP almost gives the audience a sneaky peak of his behind. He's 15 in the film. The audience ROARED (both the women and their gay companions). I was disturbed. Do we really need to see the shiny bottom of the young Daniel Radcliffe? Is that supposed to be sexy?



Then it got me thinking. Didn't I think that little blond boy from School of Rock was a little cutie? I mean, not to date, but I looked at him and thought, "Wow, that fourth grader will be hot someday." And when I started watching Laguna Beach, did I not lust after Stephen incessently? Sure he was 18 (and it turns out that 4th grader from School of Rock is about to be, thank you very much) but still, he was a hottie.

A little over a month ago, I mentioned that I had met a guy who said he was 24, who it turned out (after a little covert myspace stalking) was only 21. This past weekend, I had another enounter witth a young one (a twin no less!) who was 21 as well. Both are still college students. I outdegree them twofold. It almost seems like it should be illegal. I mean, even Mrs. Robinson went for a guy with his Bachelor's. Coo-Coo-Coo-Chu.

But I enjoy their company thoroughly. Both guys were lots of fun and had an energy I don't see in guys my age anymore. It's like the first few years of working has sucked thelife out them. They are tired and fussy, many have put on more than a few extra pounds (especially those with longtime girlfriends)* and they are BORING. Nothing new happens to them. They go to work and go to bed. They have lost their creative sides. They only go out one night a week. All they want to do is save money.

Younger guys are alive! They live to have fun and don't fear for the future. They treat work as work, not a lifestyle. They want to travel and have adventures and cause all sorts of ruckus. They're optimistic. They make me feel more alive. They make me feel younger. They make me feel reckless. There's the rub.

Before I become part of the next Demi and Ashton I should really reconsider all of this. Younger guys aren't serious enough. They aren't experienced enough. They don't know who they are or what they want. And in most cases, they're broke. They don't want the part of me that wants to get married and have babies. They want to part of me that prays she could go back in time and spend the rest of life as a college student. Sure they are alive, but they avoid life and its grownup responsibilities. Which I have recently decided completely suck ass.

So I bet you're wondering what my conclusion is. Will I still pursue (sidebar: I did not pursue any of the younger men spoken about above, it was all them. Fine I flirted a little. Or in one case a lot, whatever, they liked me first) younger men? Do I think the man of my dreams will be younger than I?

I know myself. Right now. That's all. And from where I am standing, a younger guy can show me a good time today, but I'm not betting that he'll be there tomorrow. And since I am living on this weird quarter-life bridge between being a party girl and a real adult, I can't say that younger guys will be unappealing again. I could feel this way for the rest of my life and hire a sexy pool boy named Esteban. Or I could meet "the one" in a minute and decide to put my old life behind me.

But given my track record these past 3 months, I would put my money on Esteban.


*This comment is not meant towards any of my immediate close friends. It is just an observation I have made and not meant to offend anyone.