Yes. The wedding was gorgeous and my sister looked amazing. Like Audrey Hepburn amazing. Fun was had by all including me, although at times, I was dodging ninja stars the family was throwing at me.
Case 1:
Aunt Judgemental: So, you're next!
Me: (chuckle) Don't hold your breath!
Aunt J: Two down, you're left. Is there a special someone here with you tonight?
Me: (fake chuckle) I hear that weddings are a great place to meet guys, too bad no one clued me in that tonight, all the single ones would be my cousins.
Aunt J: Aren't there a lot of guys in the city?
Me: (contemplating explaining my latest dry hump fiasco) Well, I just haven't met the right onw yet. But you know, your son is older than me and he's still single, so I guess, really, he's next. Oh wait, and there is our other cousin who's like over 50 and not married and etc, etc.
Aunt J: Well, make sure you keep your eyes open....
Me: Oh, I think they just called me to the danceflooooooooooooooooooo (trailed off as I ran)
Case 2:
Family Friend: You're next! Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: Nope. Really busy with work and stuff (code for I don't but I still hook up with people and you will never know about it) there's no time!
Family Friend: Well don't wait too long!
Me: (contemplating telling her that I eloped last week and that the DJ is my husband and I just didn't want to steal my sister's thunder) Oh I won't!!! Oh look, I think that's a waiter bringing dinnnnnnnnnneer (again running)
Case 3:
My mom: "You're Next Jonesy!"
Me: Umm, Mom, she hasn't even thrown the bouquet yet.
Mom: "I know! When we get to you're wedding we'll know exactly what to do!
Me: Ma, seriously, no more wedding talk.
Mom: Yes, you can't get married until 2010 anyway because your sister's weddings were so close together! And you better hope that Capital 1's stock does well so you can have a great wedding, pray I don't lose money in the market.
Me: (not even standing there anymore, hiding with large bottle on Pinot.)
Seriously.
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2 comments:
my first sister got married when i was 14. even I got the "you're next talk" a few times....keep in mind my other unmarried sister was 9 years old than me. anyways, both are married now. and i'm single. so the weekly onslaught of "why don't you have a boyfriend?" from my mother's phonecalls is a little hard. don't worry, if we can't find normal dudes, we can turn lesbo and move to south africa together.
Solidarity Sista!
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