Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Two Down...oh crap, "You're next!"

Yes. The wedding was gorgeous and my sister looked amazing. Like Audrey Hepburn amazing. Fun was had by all including me, although at times, I was dodging ninja stars the family was throwing at me.

Case 1:

Aunt Judgemental: So, you're next!

Me: (chuckle) Don't hold your breath!

Aunt J: Two down, you're left. Is there a special someone here with you tonight?

Me: (fake chuckle) I hear that weddings are a great place to meet guys, too bad no one clued me in that tonight, all the single ones would be my cousins.

Aunt J: Aren't there a lot of guys in the city?

Me: (contemplating explaining my latest dry hump fiasco) Well, I just haven't met the right onw yet. But you know, your son is older than me and he's still single, so I guess, really, he's next. Oh wait, and there is our other cousin who's like over 50 and not married and etc, etc.

Aunt J: Well, make sure you keep your eyes open....

Me: Oh, I think they just called me to the danceflooooooooooooooooooo (trailed off as I ran)

Case 2:

Family Friend: You're next! Do you have a boyfriend?

Me: Nope. Really busy with work and stuff (code for I don't but I still hook up with people and you will never know about it) there's no time!

Family Friend: Well don't wait too long!

Me: (contemplating telling her that I eloped last week and that the DJ is my husband and I just didn't want to steal my sister's thunder) Oh I won't!!! Oh look, I think that's a waiter bringing dinnnnnnnnnneer (again running)

Case 3:

My mom: "You're Next Jonesy!"

Me: Umm, Mom, she hasn't even thrown the bouquet yet.

Mom: "I know! When we get to you're wedding we'll know exactly what to do!

Me: Ma, seriously, no more wedding talk.

Mom: Yes, you can't get married until 2010 anyway because your sister's weddings were so close together! And you better hope that Capital 1's stock does well so you can have a great wedding, pray I don't lose money in the market.

Me: (not even standing there anymore, hiding with large bottle on Pinot.)



dmbmeg said...

my first sister got married when i was 14. even I got the "you're next talk" a few times....keep in mind my other unmarried sister was 9 years old than me. anyways, both are married now. and i'm single. so the weekly onslaught of "why don't you have a boyfriend?" from my mother's phonecalls is a little hard. don't worry, if we can't find normal dudes, we can turn lesbo and move to south africa together.

Mjones said...

Solidarity Sista!