Her calla lillies galore (and I mean galore, she got them on even the tiniest details like her garter and the ring bearer pillow and the box that had the almonds in them.) made the reception hall look absolutely AMAZING! I mean, who thinks of freezing flowers in an ice sculpture? Mrs. BFF!!!!
As maid of honor I had to make a speech at the reception. Literally, the speech had been giving me anxiety since my birthday in 2004, the day they got engaged. I hate speaking in public and being that there were 300 guests at the wedding, it was definitley public.
I wrote my speech based on little notes I had taken for months and it all finally came together. I kept my speech in my purse in the bridal suite, and when it came time for us to do our grand entrance, I realized I couldn't carry my bag. I tucked my speech into my girdle of a bra, and prayed that my nervous sweat wouldn't smear the ink.
It went pretty well, I didn't stutter (I can turn into Piglet when I'm nervous) and strangers ended up complimenting my speech. I guess I have a gift for mushy congratulatory prose but I can honestly say I meant every word.
Then I officially started boozing. I have learned that I have to watch the booze intake during cocktail hour because I tend to eat very little at weddings (when I'm in them) and it's easy to get drunk when say, an entire bottle on wine, and some champagne and some vodka hits the belly before 7 pm. Needless to say, parts of Spanish's reception are a blur. But luckily, she was well aware that I had drunk bridesmaid written all over me when she asked me to be in her wedding.
Innappropriate, innnapropriate...I promise, no Old School moments
Then it was time for Mrs. BFF's mama to start her matchmaking. I was introduced to someone like this:
"Jonesy have you met your future husband? You're both so smart your kids will be in MENSA."
Lucky for me the guy was actually cute and I didn't feel so dateless the rest of the night because everyone kept telling me that I was going to have babies with this guy that I had just meant. Apparently, our kids will be beautiful. Spanish even pointed it out when she saw pictures, his tan skin and my light eyes will make adorable kin.
It was weird, but I laughed it off. To bad for Jonesy, future husband lives in Washington DC. And his mother was sitting with him when I said goodbye. Typical. Oh yea, and did I mention that he watched me pour a galss of wine all over myself...classy. But hey, that's a wedding! And I wasn't that much of a boozy floozy.