Since I've been gone

I know I'm slow and I don't have as much time as I used to to keep up the blog work. Maybe it's because I got a job! A great one at that. I'm really excited to be back in the real world after grad school but I must say, it's hard to think that this is what I'll be doing for the next 40 or so years. Anyone else wake up in the morning to that?

It's a pretty miserable thought when you think about it. That you have to work. That you have to wake up every morning and spend such a large amount of your time at one place, doing that same things, month in and month out. And the idea that my generation will never be as successful as our parents is frightening.

But I like where I am. I like what I do (so far, it's only been 3 weeks). Hopefully that won't change.

Bastards....

Fox cancelled Reunion. And they aren't telling us who the killer is. So now I have to live my life wondering who killed Sam.

And in a further genius move they forgot to leave time in the spring schedule for Prison Break. So now I have to wait until MAY 2006 for the last nine episodes. You would think they would be smart enough to put those in Reunion's vacant spot but no, Fox is to vindictive and mean.

I hate Fox. They will be punished for this.

Sunday boring Sunday

I love Sundays and I hate 'em at the same time. Sunday mornings are for coffee and the NYT (specifically the Job Listings and Book sections). Sunday nights = bunk (which is my new word so get used to it even if you hate it). TV is crap after GA and then what am I to do?

So I decided to DVR a movie. I heard Muriel's wedding was funny. Um, you all are lying bastards. I thought it was sad. P.S. Don't read on if you don't want the plot spoiled. Her one friend who had any semblance of a fun life gets spinal cancer. It was like a punishment for having sex with two hot sailors. And Muriel...what the hell is wrong with her? She's socially special and leaves the one guy who shows any interest. And he's hot too. To be single? I hope not. Maybe Muriel, excuse me Mariel as she changes her name like 9 times in the movie, doesn't have the same issues in Sydney that we single girls face in New York. Not that I'm complaining. I'm just asking for one, just one, normal person to approach me when I'm out. But apparently that's just to much to ask. Those chicks on Sex and the City made it look easy. They lied.

On another note, Arsenio Hall is making a personal appearence in my hood this week. At McDonald's. I'm serious. Even weirder, the Wayon brothers were at my Blockbuster this spring. Wow, people really hold onto that last thread of fame. Sad really. I wish other former famouses would do that. Like Budnick from Camp Anawanna AKA Salute Your Shorts. I would turn out for that. Or maybe Ian Ziering will be at Applebee's next week. Man that would be awesome.

It's official....

Heath is now a baby daddy. Michelle Williams and he are now parents of a baby girl named......Matilda. I wonder if she has magic powers. Anyway, I think I can handle a man with a baby. Britney did it. And look at her...

oh well, guess he's gone forever.

Thanks!

Thanks to everyone who made my birthday a special event! I had a great time and appreciate all the well wishes! Be proud, I'm growing up and I didn't do anything too stupid!

Special Pre-OLD edition

Yes I know. I haven't posted in forever but I deserve the slack because I've been too damn busy with school.

Now as for the title of this post, I am turning 24 in a week. Yes, 24. Like the Keifer Sutherland mid-season goto on Fox. 24, just sounds old. It will be a coming of age year for me. No more student loans to pay my rent. No more excuses to be unemployed. No more excuses for eating Lucky Charms (although I think I am crafty enough to find some).

But, as a true fabulous New Yorker. I will celebrate. Celebrate I will among a bar full anonymous 20-somethings. Want to come? Be at Crime Scene (really the name of the place) on Bowery on Saturday night. I'll be the drunk girl.


Now, back to business:

1. The boy...umm I think I need Heidi Klum to help me with this one. I tried. I really did. But I just can't be with someone just to be with someone. See, I really am a grown up. But I also don't want to hurt his feelings. Maybe I'll keep trying to feel something, anything. Which will still be fruitless because my heart is so obviously with someone else (DAMN YOU HEATH LEDGER! j/k).

2. Lost. Yes I love the show. But like Katie Holmes (more on my friend "Kate" later) I hate it too. I need more info. I just don't get where this plot is going. I'm more lost than an acid-tripping hippie watching Labyrinth on HDTV. Or maybe that's JJ Abrams genius. To make me feel like a hippie...DAMN YOU!

3. Family Guy If you haven't seen the Stewie movie buy it now. I mean NOW. If you are lucky like me you will see Whoopi Goldberg in Best Buy when you go to get it. It is the funniest thing I have seen in a while sans Tom Cruise's efforts to look heterosexual.

4. TomKat I have openly supported the theory that Katie Holmes has been brainwashed by creepy scientologists. And now...she's preggers. But like, fake preggers. She was skinny a week ago and now she's like full second trimester. I swear it's like an episode of some sci-fi show I watched once where a baby came to full term in like a day. My new theory: Chris Klein or some other C-lister knocked her up and she made a deal with devil (played here by Mr. Cruise) to get some A-lister fame out of it.

5. Kathy Griffin's divorce SO SAD!

6. SNL Their new tagline should be "Still sucking after a jillion years!"

They are as clever as foxes.

Wow. Fox has done some serious homework on tv shows that will obviously have me not moving my ass from the couch for the next few months.
First, Prison Break. Any show that shows a really hot guy with a full arm and chest tatoo that's like one of the posters where you are supposed to see sailboats is awesome. Add a scene where he gets his toes clipped off by mafioso and I'm theirs.
Now, onto Reunion. This may be the best new show this year. I don't think it's better than Lost but this is one giant murder mystery and we don't even know who's dead yet! Sex, violence, betrayal, pregnancy, car crashes and parties all in episode one! Every episode a different year leading to the finale which is present time...BRILLIANT! (Although, what about season 2?) Add one part Hailey from the OC and one part JJ from American Dreams and you have a hit with me folks. And let me not neglect Keith from Six feet Under making a return ina new series as what else? A cop. Bring on the next 19 years.
Needless to say, don't call me Wednesday or Thursday nights from now until sweeps.

Anyone?

I'm still dying to see The Brother's Grimm but no one will go with me! I mean, how can I say no to Heath Ledger and Matt Damon. Especially when Heath is playing the bookish one in this movie. Anyway, I may have to tough this one out and go alone.

You should have...

stayed in that closet R. Kelly.

Against my better judgment I turned on the MTV awards tonight. What the hell is wrong with R. Kelly. I kind of let go the fact that he beds teenagers and chalked it up to the groupie factor. But his poor lip-synching performance tonight was more ridiculous than John Norris's outfit.

Like did he think we wouldn't catch onto the fact that he stopped moving his mouth while the audio track boomed over the microphone. I don't care who Cathy, Chuck and Rufus are R. And Chuck and Rufus are "on the down low" while Cathy goes clubbing telling people her name is Mary and sleeping with gangsters with guns (that would be you R, if you got confused in your wildly elaborate story line of your epic R&B saga). And why did Rufus break up with Chuck? It seems that Mary/Cathy is a dirty homophobic whore with issues. Chuck seemed nice. I like Chuck.

Anyway R., you should have stayed in that closet. Because I think all of America thought, in the wise words of Valerie Cherish, "I don't want to see that!"

Hey Jude,

So you were aware of your lack of goodness in the male special parts department. Is that why you had your people write a cease and desist letter to get your nekkid time pics off of the internets?

All I can say is for shame on you Jude, for shame. Thanks for crushing our fantasies.

Nekkid Time

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I am a stalker

I found Stephen from Laguna Beach's blog site.

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Surf_in_Laguna

I am so sad.

Laguna Beach

Ok, that show should have a v-chip for adults. We should so not be allowed to watch it.
For the past year all I heard from boys was how hot this Kristen girl is. I never really got into the show but after 6 weeks of no TV I was ready to watch anything.
Now I feel like I giant perv because that Stephen boy is cute. Not to mention every other boy on that show. Are they really all high school age? Now I feel like Pervy Perveson.
By the way, boys, LC is so cuter than Kristen.

Oh, and it took me like a week to realize the show is real because apparently I don't like opening credits.

Sorry boys....

but it is the end of an era. The three Jones sisters are no longer a triad of wonderful singleness. My oldest sis is getting married.
I'm so excited for my sister. It seems like her day has taken forever to get here, with a lot of bumps along the way. But her dress is here and beautiful and us bridesmaids are all geared up to smile for the cameras in our bubble gum pink dresses.
So take off your hats and bow your heads, as there is one less fabulous Bristol gal on the market.

P.S. Did I mention I was single?

Dude, they are free.

Hey Check out this site freeiPods.comClick here: http://www.freeiPods.com/?r=21213785

She's brainwashed!

http://www.style.com/w/feat_story/070505/full_page.html

Say it ain't so....

Ok, so this is Fox News and I take it with a grain of salt but.......hey, it does pose a big question.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,160192,00.html

Friends don't let friends marry scary 42-year-old Scientologists. 

Here is the most recent design from freekatie.net. Thanks for ruining the Eiffel Tower forever Tom "I haven't done a decent movie since Magnolia" Cruise. 

I bought this shirt to take a stand against this blatant abuse of celebrity.