2nd Annual: I got rescued at The Drift and all I got were some spider bites

Ok, I know you've been waiting for this one and I apologize for the delay. Here we go:

On Friday DM and I met up to get manicures before the fabulous druken Hamptons trip began. She dragged me to this upstairs place (places upstairs always bug me out for some reason) in midtown where I proceded to get the worlds fastest mani. Literally done in 10 minutes (its still on btw). Then we took the world's longest taxi ride to hell, I mean Penn Station. We scored seats on the to Jamaica thinking "Awesome, it shouldn't be too bad to get a seat when we switch to the double decker!" WRONGO! When the train pulled up in Jamaica, it was packed. Like 5 seats were open. People were sitting on steps, standing in the aisle, it was dreadful. It reminded us both of those long train rides down the NE corridor Amtrak line in college. Les. Mis.

We finally found spots where we could sit, stand, whatever. You know those cubby hole areas where the conductor stands and pushes buttons to move the train? That's where we parked it. Onfortch, both of us where in jersey dresses, so at times we had to be etra careful that the entire bar car couldn't see our underthings. Who are we kidding, they totally did.

Drinking ensued. I got wasted and made out with a guy who like the bizarro identical twin of a guy I hooked up with a bunch of times in college. But then he started to annoy me. Then i realized that I was making out with him for only 2 reasons: 1. His wicked dance moves. 2. He told me i had a rockin' bod with his thick Boston accent (I must admit, the boobies were looking fabulous).

So it's finally time to leave and Bizarro can't find his cousin or anyone who he is supposed to be staying with. And he doesn't have a phone. I wanted to get rid of him so I wouldn't accidentally have sex, but DM shouts "JONES, GET IN THIS CAB! BRING YOUR BOYFRIEND" Crap. Did I mention that he kept calling me he wrong name? He would be like "Junes...I mean Jones." Then I would give him a mean look and walk away and then somehow the vodka would make me kiss him again. Damn you clear drinks!

So finally I get back to DM's house and then it gets blurry. I know I changed into my PJ's in the bathroom and wouldn't touch Bizarro when he got in bed with me...until he full on spooned me...ick, I hate sleep touching.

Next morning he sort of disappears which makes happy but then it's time to go to the beach Luckily I'm hungover enough to not be ashmed in my bathing suit. To this day I have never found a better hangover cure than this:

1. Bottle of Water
2. Turkey Sandwich
3. Ocean
4. Combos

Seriously, I was fresh as a daisy in no time! Queue more drinking and the Drift. Some funny moments:

1. Walking into a girl vomiting on someone's car, the owner of which hit the panic button on her.
2. Running full force into a chest bump only to be flung five feet backwards
3. Watching a group of girls dance to that same guy's car alarm...he would click it off and on...everytime it came on they would dance and when it when off they would stop...it gave no meaning to the term "Dance, Monkey Dance!"
4. Major dance party with some of the most fun people I know


Honestly, it goes down again as a fabulous weekend, one that it has taken my liver 5 days to recover from. Kudos to DM and to all....except for the spider bites...seriously, I have like 3 of them and they itch.