I love my friend Spanish. But she's special when it comes to myspace.
Let me pre-empt this story with an explanation of one of Spanish's quirks. She just so happens to have the absolute WORST timing ever. She's the friend who calls me right after I fall asleep during a much needed nap. Or she just so happens to stop by right when I am taking my Friday afternoon pre-drinking nap. Or, right when they give out some nugget of knowledge on Lost, she'll call. She can't help it and it's not on purpose, she just has shitty timing with her communications. It's at the point, that when the phone rings while London and I are watching tv, she immediately asks, "Is that Spanish?" And starts laughing. A good 8 out of 10 times it is.
Back to her myspace retardation. Spanish has had a myspace profile for a while. For about a year she had no photo and 4 friends. Then it was a photo of bald Britney. Now, she finally sucked it up and actually made a profile. Luckily her brother-in-law helped her in these intial stages because I would have probably killed her. It started so innocently, with her asking me how to post picture in comments, etc. Then one day, she rejected a friend request. Turns out she knew the person and poor Spanish thought the girl would be mad at her. This conversation lasted a half hour. She's nice like that. I would have said, fuck it, if they want to be my friend enough they'll just request me again or I could not talk to them for abother 8 years, either way, I'm cool.
Last summer, Spanish, her husband and I went for ice cream. At Carvel. Which means, I'm getting a cherry bonnet. For those of you don't know, a cherry bonnet is vanilla soft serve on a waffle cone dipped in cherry sauce, which hardens over the ice cream.
Chocolate and cherry bonnets....delish.
IT'S AWESOME. Needless to say, I was made fun of, because really, who eats something called a cherry bonnet. Apparently the same people who eat a cake called Cookiepuss.
Meet Cookiepuss.
Earlier this week I went on a massive hunt for a Mister Softee truck during my lunch break. Knowing that they serve cherry bonnets, I was psyched. Then I got to the truck and found an even greater concoction. The Red Merlin. The Red Merlin is a cherry bonnet, with effing rainbow sprinkles (or jimmies for all of you people who don't know normal english) at the top of the cone. So the ice cream looks like a red wizard's hat with a sprinkled rainbow brim. AWESOME!!!! Alas, Mister Softee's vanilla was out of order so I had to deal with some crappy chocolate. But I digress....
So I immediately told Spanish about my wonderful new find and she immediately had to inform her husband. She chose myspace as the mode of delivery. I sent her a photo of something called the Nutty Merlin. After teaching her how to upload the photo and post-it (allbeit an impatient teaching session) she was like ok, I think I got it. Then she called to say it wasn't working. We worked through that issue. Mind you, I'm trying to watch TV and eat dinner.
About a half hour later, she called yet again, right as they are announcing who was going home on Dancing with the Farts (and yes, I say farts instead of starts because let's face it, the word fart will always be funny). She was laughing hysterically. I made her wait until I saw the one-legged wonder get the boot.
Through uncontrollable laughter she explained that instead of a comment she had posted a bulletin. The title was "come check out my image!"
The photo was of something called a Nutty Merlin. Which honestly, in the image, does not look too much like ice cream. She either comes of like 1. Someone who REALLY like ice cream. 2. A wierdo. 3. Someone who really likes nuts named merlin.
So please excuse anything Spanish may send you on myspace. She's a great friend and wonderful gal, but when it comes to myspaceing she's in the remedial class.
PS I've learned to turn my phone off during naps.
