It's Jonesy Bitch.
WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? According the the interwebs, you got caught up with Adnan, yes Britney's nasty BF with the flavor savor soul patch.
Supposedly, on tonight's epi, you will leave Perry a cryptic message and dump him.
WHAT! ADNAN! Do you have brain trauma? Does Adnan have a platinum cock covered in chocolate?
Perry is hot. He is what men should be. Hot, a little gay, and just HOT!
I think you should go hang out with Julia Stiles. Maybe you two want to make a suicide pact?
Fuck you and you're trying to be famous ways.