Oh Katie, what are you doing with yourself? Many of us young girls let you shape our adolescence as you gracefully brought Josephine Potter to the small screen Wednesday nights. I even had your back when you picked Pacey (I myself, am an overthinker, so I am a Dawsonist). You even made me buy a t-shirt from the set of your show after the finale (which it took me a whole year to watch because I can't let it go, I'm still waiting for Dawson: The Twenty-Something Years)
Katie, I watched Teaching Mrs. Tingle. I own Disturbing Behavior. I begged people to go see First Daughter with me. I have supported you in every bad career move you have made until this point (good job with Pieces of April though!). And what do I get for my support and idolization? TOMKAT!
A publicity stunt relationship so you and your aging "not gay" boyfriend can smooch all over the media. Did your publicists learn nothing from Bennifer Part 1? C'mon now. We don't want to see it, we don't need to see it and we sure as hell ain't buying it.
And the Scientology thing, what are you doing? You're a Catholic girl from Toledo who likes Marc Jacobs and Chanel. Don't forget those roots!
Ok, the one thing I have your back on is accepting that stunning rock that Scary Tom Tom gave you. I mean, with ice like that, what's a girl really to do. But please, spare me the public make out sessions in which you look like you want to vomit. I believe you more when you made out with Dru Valentine when you and he were locked in the storage closet during Season 4.
Here's the deal. Batman Begins is totally gonna do okay enough at the Box Office that you can ditch Tom before War of the Worlds comes out. This facade need not go on an longer Katie. And why does he call you Kate? You are Katie Holmes. Never forget that.
I join in allegiance with the rest of the world chanting FREE KATIE!