I bet you feel like Sean & Jayden...

all neglected and shizz. Sorry people. The whole losing a job thing blows serious cheese. I've been freelancing for a bit but that ends tomorrow and I will be back in business with WAY too much time on my hands. So get PSYCHED for more of my random dribbles of awesometudity.

Anywho, Q has a job. And a blog. That she actually updates. So start checking out gingervision.blogspot.com. She's a hoot and she has pretty big hooters. You will enjoy.

Also, I'm most likely going to be starting another blog, an even more awesome one that actually makes sense and isn't about my personal life so get psyched for that too. You'll know more when I get off my ass and work on it.

In the meantime, start slow clapping, like one clap every 4 hours. By the time you get to a full applause I will post something worthwhile.

IT'S A GIRL!

Spanish & Homer have brought a beautiful baby girl into the world! Yay! I haven't met her yet, but I've seena photo and she's just lovely!

ANTM: More than one transgendered contestant?

Or does Marjorie from the new cycle of ANTM kind of look like Bastian from The Neverending Story?

Exhibit A

http://www.alicia-logic.com/capspages/caps_viewall.asp?titleid=67


Exhibit B

http://www.tvguide.com/tvshows/americas-model/photos/100032/2


I wish I had a screencap to further my case.

Laborious Labor

Spanish is in labor right now. She is trying to birth the child that she and Homer created, that I have fondly called baby Beer for the past 8 months.

Wish her luck. She's been feeling this since early in the AM, the poor thing.

In honor of this great event, I am debating what this child will now be referred to on the blog. Hanish? Spomer? Or something else entirely? Don't judge. I need to distract myself while I await the news of this new addition!

Dear Prison Break,

I love you again.

Love,

Me

I'm a Libra but my scales are always tipping.

I was hopeful when I turned 26. Thought this year would finally bring everything I've been working/praying for.

Started out on a shitty note with an experience that was just a little shy of heartbreak. Then, the corporate stars aligned and I got promoted. Yay!

I started working with a co-worker who seemed to have some sort of vendetta against me from another life. Then, hooray, my nephew was born! Another reason to celebrate!

Then, I got really drunk at a friend's bachelorette and fell down, skinning my knee and elbow. Boo. At the end of June, I took a vacation just to clear my head and get things done around the house. Yay for time off...oh wait, shouldn't this be awesome?

Day three of vacation, find out my job no longer exists. Three days later, find out my dog is dying and is going to be put to sleep. A week later, find out that promised freelance work is a glorified internship and I'm stuck with 21-year-olds for two months.

I think it's time for my scales to tip up, not to put me on a high, just to make me balanced, the way I like, and apparently need, to be.

So can someone out there make something slightly good happen to me? Like a job or a new crush (although that heartbreak earlier in my 26th year has come back to haunt me--I'm a glutton for punishment) or anything like that? Pleeeeeeeeaaaseeeeeeeeee?

The Bard is rolling over in his grave.

I attempted to watch the 2000 version of Hamlet, the one with a less-hungry/cracky looking Ethan Hawke. About 2 minutes in I was disturbed/vomity/pissed when they showes a flash of none other than J.S. as Ophelia.

She continues to ruin my life, one play/movie at a time.

Congrats!

Q got a new job! After bringing her into the company at my last job, I felt bad when we were all laid off four months later. Read about it here.

Now chickadees, what am I going to do with myself? I've got a freelance gig for now which is helping to keep me off unemployment. Hopefully OMG EW THERE WAS JUST A BIG BUG ON MY BED GROSS my dream job is right around the corner and the will recognize my talent and hire me immediately. The reality: I'll be stuck doing freelance for a long time since not too many people are hiring and competition is stiff and I really don't think I'm that good at this life anyway so maybe I should consider something else.

And that's my Debbie Downer post of the day. Wa Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I'm not trying to be sensitive...

but you would think they would at least wait until all the recently laid off employees finished up their assignments and left the building before putting new name tags up...

Thus ends my magazine career...for now. In other news, I've become a recent alcoholic due to the whole I'm freelancing so I can go to work looking like a hot mess idea...oops.

Great Moments in IM Coversations:

Q is meeting someone who has a job in journalism (unlike us since we both got canned like Spam) for a beer (yes, I edited the convo):


me: get him to get you a job
show him your boobs

Q: hahaha

Q: im serious
tell him he tweak a nip when you get a job

Q: HAHAHAHAHA
you're bad

Q: ugh what should i wear

me: tassles

Q: party pasties

me: not party
but like maybe you have preppy pasties?
posh pasties?

Q: lily pulitzer ones

me: WORD

Q: pulitzer pasties

me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

EFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

My magazine folded today. I am officially unemployed. PLEASE HELP! The thought of moving in with my mom, sister, bro-in-law and baby niece is a little too Full House for me. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

My computer

is pretty much broken and I can't blog at work...so no new posts until that gets fixed sorry.

And I have a good one about me going back to gym and everything.

Booze bags are not sexy

Just remembered that I was drinking straight from a huge bottle of Magner's Cider on Saturday night. I think that totally negates my awesome blowout and adorable outfit. I think I scared boys.

Sigh.

I know I've been kind of absent lately, but I'd rather spend my time living life and creating rediculous things to post rather than half-assing it. I promise, I'll be back soon.

For all my Westchester Peeps

Demon Magic

I almost peed myself.

"Pack your bags we leave tonight!"

There are four things I will always remember about 2003.

1. I graduated college.
2. I went toVegas for the 1st time.
3. The blackout in NYC.
4. Paradise Hotel on Fox.

For those of you who don't know about the hotel, this should give you a good idea. The theme song was even like crack. "Two tickets to paradisseeeeeeeeeee, pack your bags we leave toniiight!" (yes I know that's a real song). Anywho, it was on lke 2-3 times a week, kind of like Big Brother so the season flew by.

So anyway, at the end of the season, the announcer comes on and says something like: "STay tuned for the next season of Paradise Hotel...you never know what will happen..."

And I waited. I figured like Temptation Island (awesome!) and Joe Millionaire (slurp sounds!), Fox would jump on the chance to make another edition of this quasi-hit.

And I waited. And waited some more. I reminisced about scary man-lady Toni, Zack and Amy's relationship and how hot Beau was. I bitched about the end result. And then I gave up.

I nearly peed myself when I found out that this reality gem would finally bring us a sequel...4.5 years later and on the bootleg channel, my9.

So far, things have been pretty standard, sex, booze, annoying peopleand reality all-stars (RYAN!). Then I watched last night's epi. They hinted they were bringing in a former contestant, I figured it was one of the folks they booted this season. Then the big reveal...IT WAS ZACK! FROM SEASON ONE! THE GUY WHO GOT AN EARLY BOOT BECAUSE HE WAS A JACKASS AND THEN GOT BOOTED AGAIN FOR MAKING THREATS OF VIOLENCE!

And he looked well, um, er, haggard? I remind you that this is years in the making. The new kids are all young, jacked and tan. Zack has crows feet at the age of 28 he is obvi the oldest one there. And while he seems to have bonded with Mikey over the fact that he lost Tonya the same way he was once kicked off, he seems to be siding with the Newbies, including super-tits Stefanie. Gross.

Zack, don't let me down!!!! I want an OG to win this time! Also, next week it looks like the shizz is going down! And dear my9, please put this show on more than once a week. We have at least two-three months left, please don't drag it out and make me listen to Amanda's fake accent anymore or Myrna's PAINFUL voice.

Ugh, this show is great. Watch it. It's TV at it's absoute worst, yes worse than the Hill. But it's fantastic.

Idol Giveth and Idol Taketh Away

First Perry and his cunty girlfriend now Michael Johns. From now on I'm rooting for shitty people on reality shows since they seem to be the ones who win. I want effing recounts considereing I couldn't even get through to vote for Michael. Idol Gives Back? ERRONEOUS!

I'm an auntie again! My

I'm an auntie again! My sister have birth this morning to a baby boy!

That really hurt and it's still hurting.

I want a British baby!